Embarking on a New Life Journey

The Diagnosis

For five days, I prayed and hoped for positive news. I didn’t want to hear the “C” word anymore. Those five days felt like a month of silence. Finally, on December 23, during my mother’s 82nd birthday celebration, I received the news that I have breast cancer. Shocked and wanting to cry, I had to mask my feelings for a few more hours. Tears clouded my vision during the drive home. I just wanted to get inside my house and bury my face in my hands. The diagnosis felt like a flurry of punches in my chest.

Why and how can my body carry cancer around for months without symptoms? I tried to do the right things to stay healthy. Friends and I participated in a walking challenge. I tried to eat healthier and drink 64 ounces of water each day. Was it from stress? Or was it environmental? What the hell is happening? I don’t want to be a strong Black woman. I want to curl up in bed and pull the covers over my head!

Stepping into 2020

So, stepping into 2020 began with an appointment with a multidisciplinary team of doctors (surgeon, oncologist, radiologist, and geneticist) to discuss the next steps and treatment plan. Fortunately, the mammogram detected breast cancer at an early stage. The tumor is small, but the cells are aggressive. Tentatively, the treatment plan is a lumpectomy, chemotherapy, radiation, and medication. 

While my faith is strong, my fear is real. I have sleepless nights because my brain will not shut off.  Despite my belief in God, my humanity will always question and want to know the positives, negatives, possibilities, and much more. The diagnosis puts a different perspective on what and who is essential to my being. Life as I know it is forever changed.  It is a new life journey!